How mature am I?

I have spent the last hour or so appying to Liverpool John Moores University to start a Journalism BA course in September 2009. It has struck me that this is the course I should have applied for about 20 years ago, which in turn would have saved me much aggravation in later years. However I found myself facing the prospect of studying as I enter my forties, (outrageous) as well as being the butt of hundreds of jokes, puns, snide comments etc.. I had better get used to them and fast. 

The very fact that 'Mature' students don't have to meet the standard entry criteria means that they are treated differently. Apparently my "life experiences' are more worthwhile than a set of impressive A levels. In that case, (and assuming I get an interview) I will regale the interviewing panel with some of my favorite tales from my 'life experience days, (and nights)". Such notable events include  the day I fell into a lake whilst fishing after drinking heavily , the night I took a hammer to the side of my head whilst high on drugs, or the sunny Sunday afternoon when I staggered across Smithdown Rd with half of my arse showing, (have I ever mentioned that before?. ) If that isn't enough to get me a place then I'm not sure I deserve one. And I have the scars to prove each of these "experiences' took place, although some of them aren't visible to the naked eye.

Anyway, this is a positive step and I am going to start my preparation this very second. I'm growing a beard, I have ordered 2 pairs of corduroy trousers, 3 x thick woollen jumpers, and I am not going to shower on a daily basis any more. I am sure that my huge and loyal following of readers will have many suggestions and helpful tips for me as I prepare for student life so please email me at liamdeveney@mac.com. There will be a prize for the funniest and most original suggestion.